Madonna Makes Super Bowl Way Gay

From her very entrance at the highly publicized Super Bowl half-time show this year, Madonna seemed fiercely determined to turn it into something fabulously gay. Oh, you all know what team she was really playing for. And she played, determined to win.

My only foggy interest in football has been observing those tight ends because, frankly, I otherwise have no idea what the hell I'm watching. I mean, I absolutely have only the vaguest concept of how that game is played. Something about catching that weirdly shaped ball, cradling and running with it (God knows where to) to make a "touch down," and people getting in your way to obstruct you while other people try to tackle you. I really just don't get it!

But I get Madonna. She was all about being both theatrical and fabulous, making a proper diva entrance reminiscent of both Liz Taylor in Cleopatra and the robot Maria from Metropolis. Hunks in gladiator outfits towed Queen Madonna onto the field, revealed, on her pedestal, in a golden caftan with gold, art deco headpiece, seated on a large, golden throne. The caftan quickly came off to reveal a black outfit fitted with a gladiator's peplum.

Are you plotzing already?

The surrealistically cinematic 12 minutes of fame was a spectacle of choreography, lights and music. The theme was War & Peace, as the grande dame of pop and dance-music entered as a Goddess of War but left the stage in a blazing flash of light and smoke, disappearing through a trap door beneath her, a'la Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of OZ, the words "World Peace" emblazoned on the stadium floor.

And, so, Madonna brought to us the extravaganza of music, peace, love and understanding that most club-goers know in their hearts because the disco is about all that (ok and, sometimes for some people, drugs). She opened her five-song set with "Vogue" and ended with "Like a Prayer." Sandwiched in the middle was her new number, "Give Me All Your Luvin'." This was done with great showmanship; an absolute gay pep rally with the singer's name repeatedly invoked by the chorus of cheerleaders complete with pom-poms.

Madonna looked fantastic, lip-synched as flawlessly as the best of drag queens, and danced -- well, she did fall down at one point -- but, otherwise, she carried it off with polish and precision.

It was a simply amazing and brilliant tableau that had obviously been rehearsed to death, including a supporting cast of singers, dancers and acrobats. (My friend pondered in what space were these people able to rehearse all this.)

Like Alice in Wonderland, Madonna's on-stage journey had her meeting up with colorful characters, like the campy Tweedles Dee & Dum of LMFAO; the dreaded Red Queens, Nicki Minaj and MIA (who threw in "giving the bird" in an attempt to upstage the superstar); and Reverend Cee Lo Green.

This year's Super Bowl will be remembered as the fourth time the New York Giants won. (In Bay Ridge, New York, the night sounded like New Year's Eve in Times Square, and the morning found trees wrapped in toilet paper and lamp posts fluttering with tinsel.) But, certainly, by our tribe, it will be remembered as the "gay Super Bowl" starring Madonna.

Oh, yeah, and World Peace!