Joan Rivers' Final Red Carpet

I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene  --  Joan Rivers, I Hate Everyone... Starting with Me, 2012.

Well, she got the red carpet Hollywood treatment today even if there was literally no red carpet, it being a funeral and all. One of the all-time Queens of Comedy was sent out in absolute style. I'm envious! How could I not be? The bitch had Howard Stern giving the eulogy! Audra McDonald came to sing "Smile"! Hugh Jackman sang the Peter Allen song, "Quiet Please, There's a Lady on the Stage." Not many funeral services are this star-studded and leave you qvelling and wanting more! In general, I cannot wait to get out and over to the reception (food, socializing, dancing and open bar).

The glamor and radiance of this funeral would make Joan proud. Barbara Walters, Whoopi and Rosie O'Donnell were there. Bernadette Peters, Tommy Tune. Alan Cumming. Diane Sawyer was there, Paul Schaffer, Donald Trump, Clive Davis! And many more luminaries of show business too numerous to mention. Today Margaret Cho wrote that Joan put the fun back in funerals.

Fans swarmed to say their goodbyes. The NYPD provided bagpipers. The NY Gay Men's Chorus sang. We were sending off royalty after all. Self-made royalty, the best.

If you have to die, sweeties, this is the way to have a funeral service. Service? Joan was putting together her last show for all the world. She asked that, instead of flowers, donations be sent to Gods Love We Deliver and other charities.

Farewell, Joanie. There's no one like you. You will be missed indeed.

Hot in Danceland

Abu-dabu-Dhabi!

This week, New York City was chilly and wet, wet, wet. C'mon, come through, New York, New York!

But things are sizzling in Danceland. My blog has gotten a lot of hits recently from United Arab Emirates, most likely from Abu Dhabi, and I want to send thanks to whoever is reading my blog there! I love Abu in the springtime... and ABBA, too! I hope to vacation there later in the year and have a Sex in The City II-like experience (without the dropping my condoms in a public square part).

David Morales' album officially drops this week, featuring the debut single, "Golden Era," with vocals by Roisin Murphy. The album is called Changes and it also includes vocals by club goddesses Janice Robinson, Tamra Keenan and Polina. Not so shabby... even in Abu Dhabi! He will dj at Cielo Thursday night and include tracks from Changes. Love is being sent out, especially to Janice, whose song "Dreamer," done with Italo-house group, Living Joy in the 1990s, is a perennial classic. She's on the trail as solo performer (has continued to write for other artists, notably Deborah Cox), and I can't wait to hear her perform again; she's been away too long and, like Dolly, nice to have her back where she belongs.

Titty titty bang bang

Meanwhile, it's the duel of the uber-divas as they tour and seem to compete for tabloid attention. Madonna exposed her nipple in Istanbul (it was Constantinople (not Abu Dhabi)) and it was no wardrobe malfunction as you can see in the picture above.  She proceeded to moon her Rome audience. What an ass!, did someone say? Perhaps in Italiano, eh?!

Meanwhile, Lady Gaga got smacked in the face with a metal pole, at a New Zealand concert, by one of her dancers. A little hostility and sabotage? Fired the klutz's ass, m'Lady? Anyhow, she received a headline by ending up with a concussion with two dramatic blackened eyes. Pretty pretty?

Gaga shines!

Gaga even tweeted about it and posted this picture. No "Natural Gaga" this go-round! Lipstick, eyebrows done, showing off those shiners, suffering for her art.

And so, until the next time, hope to see you on the dancefloor!  Shiners welcome!~~ Buddy