Audio Beaverhausen: Janet Jackson Is Unbreakable

Janet Jackson gets her groove back with her new release, Unbreakable. Buddy Beaverhausen gave this a listen and was not disappointed in the pop singer's new effort.

Janet is now a survivor and she's out to prove it to us. This album has a new gritty/ funky quality replacing the sweetness of her younger years. ("Too much sugar is bad for your smile" are lyrics from the single "No Sleep.) Songs of experience.

I bought my copy of Unbreakable on cd at Rebel Rebel on Bleecker off Christopher Streets. The cd has liner notes, lyrics and photos.

Janet no longer has the whispy, girly sound of her early days. Her voice has strengthened and toughened with time. Lots of brass on this album, including trombones and trumpets. It's a new but becoming sound for her. She and her band also conjure up memories of Sly & the Family Stone in "Gon' Be Alright." Her first single from the album is "No Sleep," a rather sexy little tune. I expect to see it climb the singles charts soon.

Overall, despite a couple of misfires out of 17 tracks, this album is recommended to Janet fans, produced by Jam & Lewis, her old collaborators. R&B, dance music, adult/contemporary, rock, soul, it has it all going on!

Advising Janet Jackson

Janet & Paris during happier -- I mean sadder! -- times

I can't comprehend the whole Jackson family's jumble of idiotic antics and unnecessary drama, nor will I waste any time paying attention to their current bad behavior. (When Dj Buddy Beaverhausen considers something too trashy, you know this dysfunctional family of funk stars has hit a new low.) All I would like to say on the matter is: Yo, Janet! Stop squandering your energy wrestling with your niece, Paris (Michael Jackson's daughter), trying to snatch her cell phone and reportedly slapping her nasty little face to boot!

According to The New York Post, Janet inexplicably called Paris "a spoiled little bitch!" (unlike her own self), to which Little Miss Bitch lashed out,  "This is our house. Not the Jackson family house. Get the fuck out!” Well, Jans, there you have it! Seems a little unwelcoming as far as I can tell.

Work on getting a hit song instead of werq'n this shit, Janet honey! You don't need it! Now, wrangle with that news. How's about a new dance album instead of mud wrestling with a tween? Or write a fan letter to Michelle Obama and plaster it all over the Internet for publicity, just like Beyonce did! Beyonce is full of great ideas on how to keep yourself in the news, like by having a baby for instance. I mean, at 46, a girlfight with a 14-year-old relative isn't so attractive any more. Just a little piece of advice from Buddy B. But, hey, I have more for you!

I know you must have enjoyed cashing all those checks from Nutrisystem when you started their diet earlier this year. But being a Kirsty Alley wannabe also seems to be beneath you. Then, again, it didn't hurt Jennifer Hudson, but she didn't blowse back up like Kirsty either, which you're prone to do. When they called you "cheeky" in the UK, they were speaking about your ass. You know, you're one of the few stars whose career moves actually made me lose respect for you. Maybe you need new management! Feel free to call Buddy Beaverhausen for a career makeover. I'll send you my number in a private message, awaiting your eager reply.

For one thing, I'd suggest another wardrobe malfunction. ASAP, Ms Jackson! And how is it that, lately, LaToya seems to be the sensible sister? That's a bad sign, Jannie girl, if you're asking me!

So, Miss Janet Damita Jo Jackson -- if I may humbly call you that for short -- it's gonna be Good Times and Fame all over again! Dj BB's gonna drag you out of the muck you're in. Why, Paris may be burning, but you needn't get scorched, bubala.

In 2007, you were one of the wealthiest female entertainers in the world, according to Forbes, and they should know.  What happened, Jannie? You can tell me. I won't let out a word, I'm known for my discretion. Do you really need Michael's money so badly? Did you really kidnap your own mother? (I guess that's called an intervention as long as you're feeding her. You are, right?) Oh, Janet, come clean! And let me turn you into the disco goddess you were always meant to be! It worked for Kelly Clarkson.

~~ Sincerely, Dj Buddy Beaverhausen
 

Buddy Beaverhausen's Notes to Divas and other musings on music

Carol Hahn was a delight when she brought her powerful pipes recently to Splash in New York. She is simply a club diva's club diva who came to international attention in the 1980s with a few hiNRG hits. After taking time off reputedly to continue college (for something like 25 years?), she made a comeback a couple of years ago with her songs "Reach Out" and "Come Be My Lover". This year, she recorded and released two more well-crafted songs, full of energy and passion: "I Can Stop the Rain" and "Take Me and Dance," both of which made it up the Billboard Club chart. Buy/download her songs and move and groove to her; in short, take her and dance.

Of course, you've heard that Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga are the new faces of MAC Viva Glam, which benefits the MAC AIDS Fund. Ads will appear in February 2010 and Gaga and Cyndi lipsticks will be available a month later. Can't wait! And have you heard? Cyn met President Obama and he actually told her he thought Gaga was the new her. Well, certainly Gaga has the edginess but, I mean... Cyndi's the Ethel Merman of rock, right? Gaga's voice is pleasant enough in a Gwen Stefani way, but she can't belt it out like our Cyn. But don't get me wrong; I love Lady Gaga and am all set to buy her new "The Fame Monster" cd.

Madonna's latest single -- currently hosting a slew of white label mixes, the best attributed to Mike Danavan -- is "It's So Cool", which isn't. The beat is pumpin' but Madge is in preaching mode again imparting her banalities upon us. "It's so cool to be uncool/It's so right to be unright...." "Unright"? But that's so wrong! (Note to Madonna: run spell check.) Now, the theme of universal love is not such a bad thing, but, frankly, I could do without the holier-than-thou attitude it comes wrapped in.

Note to divas: Enunciate! I love Mia J's electropoppy "Headlights" but, I swear, when she gets to the chorus, it sounds like she's singing "caught in the head lice." Isn't she British? Why does her English sound like Agnetha Faltskog on a bad day? But it's ok; when I first heard Janet Jackson's "Feedback", I thought she was singing, "feed bag." Then, I thought it was "meat rack." No kidding. Enunciate.

Talking about Janet, club mixes of the extremely catchy "Make Me" are out to coincide with the release of her "Number Ones" album. She benefits from top-drawer remixes by Ralphi Rosario, Craig J, Bimbo Jones and Moto Blanco.

Whitney & Britney: Aesthetically diminishing returns from Whitney Houston, guys. She started on a relative high with "I Didn't Know My Own Strength". (Is anyone else feeling Junior Vasquez's sturm und drang mixes are getting a little played out by now? Wake up, Junior, the 90s are ovah! Really.) "Million Dollar Bill" was far less interesting and further showcased how deteriorated Miss Whitney's voice is. The current Johnny Vicious and Giuseppe D mixes of "I Look to You" do just about everything humanly possible to make it relevant but it is, sadly, a rather undistinguished effort. Nonetheless, her fans will love it and I expect it will be her third chart-buster on Billboard.

Far more interesting, surprisingly, is the latest comeback bid by Britney Spears. "3", as mixed by Groove Police, Lenny Bertoldo and (my fave) Rafael Lellis, is a spunky dancefloor tune that'll make you wanna twirl. I'm not sure what Brit's carrying on about (must have written the lyrics all by her lonesome) but she's claiming she's "caught in between" something. (Legs? I can relate.)

One of my favorite Swedish groups is back with a new dance hit that ought to be big internationally with the exception of the United States (a very boring, though huge, dance-music market). Alcazar (now back from a foursome to the original 3 -- oh, maybe this is what Britney's gurgling about!) returns with the snazzy "Burnin'" (and enunciating quite well, mind you, Mia J). Best mix award for this one goes to the stalwart team at Almighty.

Almighty, by the way, has just hired new management, MWR. Expect to see Almighty remixing more high-profile names, names, names as MWR are the folks who represent Jason Nevins, Wideboys, Cahill, Stonebridge and the omnipresent Moto Blanco.

And remixer Pete Hammond ("100 years old", as he claims on his My Space page) has another Billboard dance remix with Plumb's "Hang On" (Pete certainly has hung on in there, baby), which sounds grafted onto the beats and cowbells of his Dead or Alive "You Spin Me Round" production of some generations back. Pass the poppers and the Geritol! Barry Harris, meanwhile -- best remembered as half of Thunderpuss (keep the poppers and Geritol coming) -- resurrects himself with the camp "Drama Queen" featuring the always-welcome voice of Canada's Simone Denny ("All Things Keep Getting Better". The theme for "Queer Eye"? Remember them? So 2003!)

Finally, another note to divas from Buddy Beaverhausen: If you're going to cover a pop classic, you better have something new to bring to it. Hear that, Mariah Carey? I Want to Know What Love Is, that's all I'm saying. Except that, when in Chelsea, make sure you check out Rainbows & Triangles on 8th Ave. between 19th & 20th Sts. for a very choice selection of dance cds. All I'm saying.