Divas Make the Scene in Splitsville

Surely. 32--year-old Britney Spears must believe all men are pigs by now or at least be questioning her taste in them. TMZ broke the news that traveled worldwide in a nanosecond that the singer dumped her latest boy toy, David Lucado, after a video surfaced of him "making out with a woman and dancing with her." It was also reported in Star magazine that lothario Lucado was seen pawing, and dancing all night with, another woman at a club in West Hollywood.  It's Britney, bitch! And she doesn't like the disrespect. Who can blame her?

While Brit posted "Ahhhh, the single life!" on Twitter, a representative for Lucado stated that the ex-bf is still "very much" in love with the superstar and hopes to get back together with her. Good luck, pal!

This all comes very shortly after news that Mariah Cary filed for divorce from husband Nick Cannon after discovering Nick was engaging in some extramarital activities, namely with two mistresses. Carey, reportedly devastated, wasted no time in seeking a divorce from the cad. Unrepentant and defiant, the loose Cannon claimed that as far as he was concerned, his marriage with Mariah was a mirage, as it was, in his opinion, "already over." Cheeky!

Ah, my divas! Too often you are victims of the very songs you sing, to paraphrase Candi Staton. All those adoring fans but can't find a man to love you as you know you deserve.

It ain''t over until the diva sings it's been said. Well, Britney and Mariah have just belted it out, boys. So, go, go out the door, don't turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. Do you hear your swan song?

Diva Dish: Inaya, Idina, Zhana, Maya, Mariah & More!

What a week this was for diva birthdays! Stevie Nicks, Cilla Black, Gladys Knight, Kylie Minogue, Melissa Etheridge, La Toya Jackson, Scary Spice (Mel B), Idina Menzel. Idina's rendition of "Let It Go" was # 2 on the last Billboard club chart (with Cher's "I Walk Alone" right behind at # 3).

Of course, the tragic news this week was that of poet/activist/playwright Maya Angelou's passing. What a life this woman led! What brilliant people she befriended, and what an inspirational personality for the world. Of course, Westboro Baptist Church intends to picket her funeral. There's a special place in hell for those people, I am sure.

Mariah Carey received an Icon Award from the World Music Awards, and performed at the ceremony on May 27th. On the 29th, she was reluctantly (it appeared) videotaped by paparazzi (or was it really a p.r. team?) when she left the Fresh Air Fund at Chelsea Piers and headed home via subway. In a sparkly blue gown.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/30/mariah-carey-subway-new-york_n_5417056.html?utm_hp_ref=mariah-carey

Bette Midler's NY Restoration Project collected over $1 million when the beloved diva threw a benefit at Grant's Tomb. (Ullyses S., honeys, not Cary). Thank you, Bette, for your concern for our environment. Mayor Bill De Blasio showed up to place stong political support for the project.

June 10th is the release date for Chrissie Hyndes' new album. This diva can do no wrong and I so look forward to hearing this.

Most rousing song on the dance floor now is "Let the Music Lift You Up," by Matt Consola and LFP featuring fabulous diva vocals by the amazing Zhana Saunders.

And tonight, May 31, NYC Pride will kick off with the supreme Diva of House, Inaya Day. Will be there at Icon in Queens to report!

Dj Buddy B Goes Electric with the Pet Shop Boys

The Pet Shop Boys' latest album, Electric, is surely something they could do in their sleep at this point of their career. Nonetheless, it is not to be ignored and should appeal to contemporary clubgoers and dance fans despite -- or, perhaps, partly because of -- its distinctly '80s flavor. The album will be available in the USA on July 16. It is the first album released on their own label and it's produced by Stuart Price.

Electric opens with the largely instrumental, "Axis," already a Billboard charter as is the ultimate number, "Vocal."  The latter is a very hiNRG dance tune that should infuse everyone with the desire to shake his/her moneymaker.

Bruce Springsteen's anti-war "Inside a Dream" gets a clever disco makeover. "Bolshy" and "Love Is a Bourgeois Construct" seem to refer to a gay love affair in Russia, very timely regarding the release date of this album. "Bourgeoise" has a very strong male chorus in the background with a distinct Russian echo to it.

Only the number "Shouting in the Evening" was too cacophonous for me. (What were they thinking when they arranged this? Appealing to a heavy industrial techno crowd? Do they still exist?!) "Thursday," the penultimate track, is classic PSB, but with a nice tweak via a brief interlude by rapper, Example. Would make a fine single with remixes.

All in all, a successful outing but don't expect anything revolutionary. The Pet Shop Boys have had a winning musical formula with few variations for over 30 years. And it still serves them well.

There were a couple of other hot dance tunes I enjoyed on promos this weekend: Deborah Cox's "Higher," featuring Paige, is a solid number for the diva who performed it as part of her act on the NYC Pier Dance last month.  Wrapped in an electro arrangement of drums and a swirl of keyboards, her vocals burnish through to make this a summer hit. You can hear it below.

And Mariah's back with another dancefloor tune for her fans. Suitably Latin but to an upbeat House production in the fabulous Big Kid and Brian Cua remix, which is the way to go on this one. The song is called "Almost Home" and it's a winner.

Mariah Carey's Busting Out All Over

We all know Diva Carey loves to squeeze into clothing that, more than skin-tight, appear to be a size or two too small for her voluptuous physique. So tight, we actually saw "camel toe" through a pair of pants. http://djbuddybeaverhausen.blogspot.com/2012/05/mariah-scary.html  So tight, she walked off a German television show when the host ingraciously told her she looked like an "overstuffed sausage." And yet, nothing dissuades old girl to wear something that actually fits.

Latest case in point: pouring out of a Donetella Versace-designed dress when it burst on the tv talk show, Good Morning America.

Reports The Huffington Post today:

Mariah Carey's "GMA" performance was all that and much more, as the singer's appearance was derailed by a wardrobe malfunction and the 43-year-old chanteuse cursing on live TV.

The back of Carey's dress -- which was created by Donatella Versace -- split open as she was talking to host Lara Spencer. The two then did their best to manage the precarious situation, as Carey's bust began to spill out of her outfit. "Oh shoot, now the back of my dress just popped," she said. "I love you Donatella, but it popped." 

Right, like it was the designer's fault. You know Mariah told Donatella at the fitting: "Tighter, girl! I don't do baggy!" But, I mean, how many public wardrobe malfunctions can one girl have? It's now become Mariah's trademark!   

Huffington Post continues:


Spencer described the debacle as "a TV moment" and cut to commercial. When the broadcast returned, Carey was wearing a pink number. As she welcomed fellow singer Miguel to the stage, she let out an "oh sh-t" on live TV and followed it up with a "you didn't hear that!"

"Oh, sh-t"? Did the "pink number" split as well? I mean, does our diva have class. Or what?

Beaverhausen's Divas: Week in Focus

Happy Passover and Easter, everyone! Like Joan Rivers, I'm celebrating both Spring holidays by dying matzoh. And by looking back over this past week in divadom!

Yoko Ono, 80, continued her club diva reign as "Hold Me," redesigned by Dave Aude, rose to #3 on the Billboard Dance chart (and she appears to be upwardly mobile).  Crystal Waters' "Mama Say" (best club tune in months) is sitting pretty at #13, after claiming the #1 Dance/Club position two weeks ago. Meanwhile, Christina Aguilera's "Let There Be Love" nudged into the chart at #21, looking like it has legs fit for climbing.

Divas Mariah Carey and Lady Gaga had birthdays over the past week. And Ms Dionne Warwick is broke, owing the Feds USD$10 million! While most of us are envious because we wish we made enough to owe the IRS that kind of bread, Ms Warwick was at least able to become a tabloid darling, grabbing headlines once more.

Oh, la publicite! La publicite!

Billboard Shake-Up

It was sad to see Kathy Griffin's fabulous "I'll Say It" drop off the top 25 Billboard Dance/Club Chart this go-round, but good to see Florence Welch (of "+ the Machine") ascend to #14 (from #20 last week) on vocals for "Sweet Nothing" by Calvin Harris. While I love listening to Harris' extended version, it offers no intro for mixing into a set. For that purpose, I recommend the Tiesto remix.

Christina Aguilera leaped into the top 25 in a major way when her quite catchy but undistinguished "Your Body" made it from last week's #26 song to the #16th. I'll refrain from any Greatest Gainer comments.

Mariah Carey's "Triumphant" is still solid at #11, having peaked at numero uno. X Factor's Melanie Amaro is rising right behind, at #12, with "Don't Fail Me Now." And, at #13, we have Beyonce, losing wind and nudging up just one spot from last week, with "I Was Here." Yeah, you was.

Pet Shop Boys peaked at #12 with "Winner" on the US chart, though Kristine W is up at #4 with the fantastic, Bimbo Jones-produced floor-filler, "Everything That I Got." Meanwhile, Yoko Ono is "Moving On" to the number 10th place.

Let me tell you, I could eat up every part of a guy like Cheyenne Jackson in a New York minute (pictured at top)! But who couldn't? Tall, dark, handsome and out (but married). The Conaire remix of the Broadway crooner's "Drive" crossed my desk recently.  Unfortunately, it doesn't quite gel for the dance floor. Good song, but not a good mix. Unlikely to peak on Billboard or end up in my mix.

More on the dance floor musique and some more Billboard club jive soon. Love ~~ Dj Buddy B!

Billboard's Diva Race

For those of you following the diva race on Billboard's dance chart, this week Mariah Carey snags the #1 spot, victorious with "Triumphant," probably her best club tune ever. I'd call her a "Winner," but that song, by Pet Shop Boys has currently reached the12th spot on the chart, upwardly mobile, and expected to get into the current Top 10.

Mariah's American Idol rival, Nicki Minaj, slides to seventh place with "Pound the Alarm" (exactly what I'd like to do when it goes off in the mornings). Last week's #1, "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)," by Pink, is back down at #5.

Kristine W's "Everything That I Got" makes a nice show this week at #8. Offering a fantastic production by Bimbo Jones and boasting several expert mixes, it'll have you up and dancing before its intro is done.

The perennial Yoko Ono, club diva at 79 years of age, leaps into the top 25 club hits, at #20, with "I'm Moving On." And we're glad she is. Love most of the remixes for this one.

And "I'll Say It" by Kathy Griffin cracks the top 25 this week as well! #24 with a bullet to the comedian/diva's remixed tv theme. I adore it!  Hear it at link.  http://djbuddybeaverhausen.blogspot.com/2012/09/kathy-griffin-ill-sing-it.html

Thanks to all my blog readers! Love you guys (and gals) from Italy to Indonesia, Ukraine to United Kingdom, Russia to Rwanda. (Actually, I don't think I have any readers in Rwanda.) And, to my fellow Americans, I was psyched by this week's Presidential debate; hope you were, too.

Peace and happiness for all! ~~ Disco kisses xxx Dj Buddy B

Buddy's Biased Billboard, Briefly, & International Call-Out

Nicki Minaj's "Pound the Alarm" pounds its way to #1 this week on the Billboard Dance/Club top 25, coinciding with the ever-charming Minaj threatening to pound the shit out of Mariah Carey, her American Idol co-star. But, beware, Nicki, Ms Carey is just two spots down, with "Triumphant," ascendant at #3, to trounce you from that perch and triumphantly usurp it for herself.

Betwix you two gals, however, is Pink, now #2 with "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)."  Kristine W up, at lucky number 13, with the Moto Blanco-produced "Everything That I Got," a real floor-filler. And Pet Shop Boys are champs, now at the 16th niche with "Winner."

Scissor Sisters have Kiki'd down, just below the top 10 but holding strong at #11. And Gossip's "Move in the Right Direction" is certainly doing that, now up at #17. Beyonce again enters the top 25 with "I Was Here," while Rebecca Ferguson's at #24 with "Nothing's Real But Love," which peaked at 11th place.

What a bummer watching the obnoxious Mitt Romney steamroll over moderator Jim Lehrer last night to President Obama's detriment during their first debate. Just got to drown myself in a double dose of disco today to get beyond that! Meanwhile, want to thank everyone reading my blog, with special thanks this week -- beyond my perennial views from the USA, Canada, the UK, France, Germany, Mexico and Brazil -- to readers in the Palestinian Territories, Kuwait, Pakistan, Japan, Belgium, Netherlands, Poland, Serbia, Ukraine, Latvia, Japan and Venezuela. Peace, love, happiness and dance music to all!

Below, the Seamus Haji remix of the new Gossip number:

Diva Duel: Minaj vs. Mariah

"'American Idol' in Chaos!" screams the Daily News' front-page headline. "DIVAS AT WAR!"

Well, it's going to be very interesting to see how this plays out. Will people tune in to see if all hell will break loose? According to New York's Daily News:

Nicki Minaj unleashes foul-mouthed tirade at Mariah Carey and threatens to punch her out during taping of 'American Idol'

 

The festering bad blood between the two divas — both serving as judges for the first time this season on the Fox show — boiled over in Charlotte, N.C., when they disagreed over a contestant’s performance, sources said.

Production of “American Idol” came to a halt Tuesday when seething singer Nicki Minaj unleashed a foul-mouthed tirade at Mariah Carey and threatened to punch her out. The festering bad blood between the two divas — both serving as judges for the first time this season on the Fox show — boiled over in Charlotte, N.C., when they disagreed over a contestant’s performance, sources said.

Carey had been goading Minaj for hours, sources said, ultimately calling the wild-haired, wig-loving “Your Love” singer a “bitch.”

A fuming Minaj later threatened, “I’m gonna knock you out!” .... TMZ posted a video of the incident Tuesday night, presumably taken moments after the pair exchanged barbs. Minaj can be heard ranting, “Get this s---t in self-control. Get in control. Get in control,” as fellow judge Randy Jackson urges her to “settle down.”

The blowup has “Idol” brass worried that the bad chemistry between the two judges will ruin the show — which faces stiff competition from upstarts like NBC’s “The Voice” and Fox’s “The X Factor,” featuring their own lineups of pop superstars as judges.

“It’s a major concern now,” an “Idol” source told the Daily News. “They obviously don’t like each other, but they have signed contracts and need to learn how to at least tolerate each other.”

Fox officials declined to comment....

“There’s been a feud in two days?” Carey said cryptically at a hastily arranged news conference when asked about a rumored confrontation between the pair the very first day of taping in New York City. “A feud takes a little longer,” she added.

Homophobia of the Rich & Famous + Buddy's Billboard

Class act Paris Hilton

Last week was one filled with more hot messes, particularly of homophobic explosions amongst the rich and famous, it seemed. A savvy NYC cabbie had Paris Hilton and her gay, male friend in his backseat. So what did he do? He taped their conversation, of course. Talk about your cash cab! Well, when that hit shit the fan, it created a furor because it was full of anti-gay rancor. Of gay men, Paris said, "They’re disgusting! Dude, most of them probably have AIDS!" Paris said she'd "be so scared if I were a gay guy. You'll like, die of AIDS." This from the woman famous for a sex tape showing her being, like, most unsafe.

What's an airhead.... er, I mean an heiress like Paris to do but apologize profusely and tell us she adores gay men? Exactly what she did, wouldn't you just know it.

Then, washed-up '80s author, Bret (Bright Lights, Big City) Easton (American Psycho) Ellis felt the need to stir the pot, perhaps for his own desperately needed publicity. He agreed with Paris' vapid comments and added, "As someone who has used Grindr? Paris Hilton isn't that far off." Ahem.

Then there was the incident from the world of sports.

Truth Wins Out reported: "Yunel Escobar, a 29-year-old Cuban baseball star who plays for the Toronto Blue Jays, wore eye black during Saturday’s game against the Boston Red Sox that had a homophobic message written on it: “TU ERE MARICON.”

Commonly translated: “You are a faggot.”

Escobar didn't play on Sunday, saying he had flu-like symptoms. Aw, Yunel, stop being a maricon and get in there and play! Need I add, he then issued a public apology. Just talking out of his his cap, I tell you.

Well, we've got some fierce business on Billboard, with no apologies or homophobic flare-ups, as divas jockey for position on the Dance/Club Top 25 and beyond.

Florence + the Machine take over the #1 spot with "Spectrum (Say My Name)" this time out, while last week's "Let's Have a Kiki," by Scissor Sisters, rests at #7 after burning up the chart all the way to the top.

Pink's in the pink at #5 with "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)," and Mariah Carey's "Triumphant" at #8, up from the 13th spot last week. Madonna's holding onto the top 10, turning up at #10 with "Turn on the Radio." Rebecca Ferguson's "Nothing's Real But Love" is in 12th place, down one nook from #11 last outing. And Cyndi Lauper's "Sex Is in the Heel" sashays its way down to #18, after peaking at #6.

Finally, Kristine W debuts in the Top 25, at #25, up 11 spots from #36 last week, with the divalicious "Everything That I Got." Just under the Top 25, Gossip's "Move in the Right Direction" moves right up to #26 and Sweden's Gravitonas does nicely at #27 with "Call Your Name." Pet Shop Boys' "Winner" winningly rises to #30 from 38th place.

Peace, love & disco, y'all, to readers from Australia to Saudi Arabia to Russia, Latvia and Ukraine. No need for war, hatred, prejudice or those nasty, homophobic outbursts.Get Excited & Carry On!

Here's Buddy's dance-music video of the week:

All About Beave ~~ & Billboard

First, I want to do my shout-out to all my international readers this week. I am so grateful to everyone who comes to this blog, generally to be entertained by anything I might have to say, and to share my musings on dance music and pop culture. I would be most appreciative of any feedback and the best way to do that, outside of commenting on individual posts here, is to go to my Facebook Page. At http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dj-Buddy-Beaverhausen/121433544617989 , you can click "Like" and let me know how I'm doing, what you like or don't like on the blog, give me constructive criticisms, and stay on top of new postings.

So, calling out around the world, get ready for a brand new beat: special thanks this week to Poland (I see readership was way up; dziękuję!). Also, thanks to my readers in Algeria, Japan, Turkey, Ukraine and Indonesia. Keep the faith we may live as one! As always, to my blog pals in the UK, Canada, France, Mexico, Russia, Germany; love you guys!

Tonight, I look forward to President Obama speak at the Democratic National Convention. Already such great speeches by our First Lady, Gaby Gifford (made me tear up -- a lot!) and others. Let's fight for progress and equality and the rights to love and to marry. Make it happen!

As for this week's Billboard, divas Mariah Carey and Pink finally make it into the top 25 of the Dance/Club chart with fabulous new songs that will put you on the floor!  Pink arrives at a hot-pink #18 with "Blow Me (a Kiss)" while I think it safe to say Ms Carey's anthemic "Triumphant" (#21) is indeed a triumph; one of the best things she's ever done and the remixes are to die for. Take it to the dancefloor, bitches, this mama's on fire and she's bringing it to the top, wardrobe malfunctions and whatever!

Scissor Sisters' "Let's Have A Kiki" #2 under Usher's "Scream" at #1. Expect it to usurp first place next week. Cyndi Lauper's fuck-me pumps walk her down to #16 from 6th place's peak last week with the fabulous "Sex Is in the Heel." Sarah Ferguson's hot "Nothing's Real But Love" (is it?), is at Cyndi's back, now up at #14. And Adam Lambert's "Never Close Our Eyes," which peaked, like Cyndi, at #6, is now standing at #16.

And that's it, of interest for me, on this week's blog. Hit the danceflooor and shake your money makers for love, peace and happiness! Until we meet again ~~ love, Dj Buddy Beaverhausen!

Below, the brilliant Honey Dijon club mix of "Sex Is in the Heel":

On My Turntables Tonight: August 21, 2012

Often ~~ according to my aesthetics ~~ when it comes to dance music, the less pretentious, the more shallow and the triumph of style over substance and emotion over thought, the better.

For example, I'm a sucker for Kathy Griffin's "I'll Say It," remixes by Razor & Guido and Gustavo Scorpio among others, though I like Majik Boys' work on this best. Catchy, little sing-songy title tune from her Bravo talk show. Bravo! I think of Kathy as wild and edgy but this is surprisingly sweet.

Luvin' up the Almighty remixes of Scissor Sisters' kicky "Let's Have a Kiki," delivered NRG-style from the UK. "So so oui oui, no no kiki" is the bridge that goes on forever in this playful and joyful mix, and it makes me smile. And dance! "Lock the doors!" Absolute style over substance and wallowing in it.

"Celebrate," as remixed by Joel Dickinson, has me wanting to celebrate -- and dance -- the night away, even if it is only Tuesday. Song is from the current remake of Sparkle starring Jordan Sparks and the late Whitney Houston.  (Cine Beaverhausen film review to come very soon.)

Mariah Carey may be furious with American Idol for their announcement. earlier in the day, that Nicki Minaj has been signed as another judge on the same panel for the upcoming season. It could be a dramatic one for the celebrity judges alone, never mind the contestants. But Mariah is undeniably "Triumphant" and in true diva style (when is she not?) on her new club number of that name. I'm siding toward the Danny Verde mix on this one. Solid and exhilarating.

Wideboys' remix of "Winner," the new Pet Shop Boys song featured at the Olympics, begins with a drum machine groove John Philip Sousa would envy before it finally breaks into song. Neal Tennant's voice has become comfortably familiar and the tune, while on the catchy side, is just a mediocre toss-off for the dynamic duo with sub-par lyrics to boot. Sorry. Not one of PSB's best.

"We Got Pride," from Swishcraft featuring Diane Charlemagne, is a much less pretentious effort that truly delivers -- certainly to its target audience.  Anthemic disco, big diva vocals and the repetition of that Pride hook makes this one just pure fun, perfect for losing your inhibitions on the dancefloor. So, shake your booty to any of the mixes available:  Matt Consola & LFB; MG original; DJ Pornstar Club Mix. The melody and lyrics may seem a derivative amalgamation of songs you've heard before, but I think originality is not the goal here; it's production, strong vocals and the admittedly Pavlovian way it manipulates us to move our booties and put our hands up in the air. Woof woof!

Sometimes, less is more (substance). And, sometimes, more is more (style). And that's the way I see -- and feel -- it for dance music tonight. Till we meet again ~~ love, peace & disco! ~~ Dj Buddy Beaverhausen

Mariah Scary

Cuchi-cuchi!

Said Joan Rivers, with candor, on Facebook: "Did you see Mariah Carey performing in that skin-tight jumpsuit? My God, that wasn't just a camel toe, it was the whole damn hoof!"

Wow! Has any star been as un-self-conscious, and just plain tacky, as Mariah Carey when it comes to her outfits? J-Lo is a nun by comparison to Miss Mimi Mess-in-a-Dress!

She lost weight, and --sure! -- she wants to show it off. But this is over the top! Or is it under the bottom, in this case? As Charo would say, "cuchi-cuchi!"

"Firstly, we just want to say that Mariah Carey looks great … from the crotch up," wrote CelebrityFix. "Good for you Mimi," they added, "but did your dressing room have a full length mirror? 

"The superstar diva took to the stage at a concert in Austria yesterday sporting an unmissable front wedgie — courtesy of an oddly-placed seam down the front of her skin-tight pants."

And did Ms Carey seem to be pouting even as she was all smiles on stage? Wouldn't underwear take care of this problem? And should she stop squeezing into a size too small to try to impress us?

Already the recipient of a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actress (for her starring role in the infamous Glitter), Mariah was a mainstay on the late Mr Blackwell's Worst Dressed Women list as well. She publicly expressed thanks for being mentioned and obviously aspires to live up to the distinction. Blackwell called her, "Mariah, the fashion pariah," and pointed out that "Mariah simply wears her clothes too tight (drat trying to cram into that double zero!) and pretty much always has. And she overdoes everything. So even when Mariah comes close to getting it right stylewise, she loses points for ill-fitting garments and frumpy 'dos." Nothing has changed. (P.s.: My favorite Blackwell crack was about Wynonna Judd, when he said, "She looks like Hulk Hogan in sequins!")

Mariah Carey can top, too!

Mariah, how do you out-do this latest fiasco? (I'm afraid to find out. Very afraid.)

The Puppini Sisters Do Mariah Carey for Christmas

I bring back The Puppini Sisters for tonight's Christmas number on my countdown. They cover Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You," but they do it their way, Puppini style. This album went to #5 on the US Billboard Jazz chart, so let it swing out!

Buddy Beaverhausen's Notes to Divas and other musings on music

Carol Hahn was a delight when she brought her powerful pipes recently to Splash in New York. She is simply a club diva's club diva who came to international attention in the 1980s with a few hiNRG hits. After taking time off reputedly to continue college (for something like 25 years?), she made a comeback a couple of years ago with her songs "Reach Out" and "Come Be My Lover". This year, she recorded and released two more well-crafted songs, full of energy and passion: "I Can Stop the Rain" and "Take Me and Dance," both of which made it up the Billboard Club chart. Buy/download her songs and move and groove to her; in short, take her and dance.

Of course, you've heard that Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga are the new faces of MAC Viva Glam, which benefits the MAC AIDS Fund. Ads will appear in February 2010 and Gaga and Cyndi lipsticks will be available a month later. Can't wait! And have you heard? Cyn met President Obama and he actually told her he thought Gaga was the new her. Well, certainly Gaga has the edginess but, I mean... Cyndi's the Ethel Merman of rock, right? Gaga's voice is pleasant enough in a Gwen Stefani way, but she can't belt it out like our Cyn. But don't get me wrong; I love Lady Gaga and am all set to buy her new "The Fame Monster" cd.

Madonna's latest single -- currently hosting a slew of white label mixes, the best attributed to Mike Danavan -- is "It's So Cool", which isn't. The beat is pumpin' but Madge is in preaching mode again imparting her banalities upon us. "It's so cool to be uncool/It's so right to be unright...." "Unright"? But that's so wrong! (Note to Madonna: run spell check.) Now, the theme of universal love is not such a bad thing, but, frankly, I could do without the holier-than-thou attitude it comes wrapped in.

Note to divas: Enunciate! I love Mia J's electropoppy "Headlights" but, I swear, when she gets to the chorus, it sounds like she's singing "caught in the head lice." Isn't she British? Why does her English sound like Agnetha Faltskog on a bad day? But it's ok; when I first heard Janet Jackson's "Feedback", I thought she was singing, "feed bag." Then, I thought it was "meat rack." No kidding. Enunciate.

Talking about Janet, club mixes of the extremely catchy "Make Me" are out to coincide with the release of her "Number Ones" album. She benefits from top-drawer remixes by Ralphi Rosario, Craig J, Bimbo Jones and Moto Blanco.

Whitney & Britney: Aesthetically diminishing returns from Whitney Houston, guys. She started on a relative high with "I Didn't Know My Own Strength". (Is anyone else feeling Junior Vasquez's sturm und drang mixes are getting a little played out by now? Wake up, Junior, the 90s are ovah! Really.) "Million Dollar Bill" was far less interesting and further showcased how deteriorated Miss Whitney's voice is. The current Johnny Vicious and Giuseppe D mixes of "I Look to You" do just about everything humanly possible to make it relevant but it is, sadly, a rather undistinguished effort. Nonetheless, her fans will love it and I expect it will be her third chart-buster on Billboard.

Far more interesting, surprisingly, is the latest comeback bid by Britney Spears. "3", as mixed by Groove Police, Lenny Bertoldo and (my fave) Rafael Lellis, is a spunky dancefloor tune that'll make you wanna twirl. I'm not sure what Brit's carrying on about (must have written the lyrics all by her lonesome) but she's claiming she's "caught in between" something. (Legs? I can relate.)

One of my favorite Swedish groups is back with a new dance hit that ought to be big internationally with the exception of the United States (a very boring, though huge, dance-music market). Alcazar (now back from a foursome to the original 3 -- oh, maybe this is what Britney's gurgling about!) returns with the snazzy "Burnin'" (and enunciating quite well, mind you, Mia J). Best mix award for this one goes to the stalwart team at Almighty.

Almighty, by the way, has just hired new management, MWR. Expect to see Almighty remixing more high-profile names, names, names as MWR are the folks who represent Jason Nevins, Wideboys, Cahill, Stonebridge and the omnipresent Moto Blanco.

And remixer Pete Hammond ("100 years old", as he claims on his My Space page) has another Billboard dance remix with Plumb's "Hang On" (Pete certainly has hung on in there, baby), which sounds grafted onto the beats and cowbells of his Dead or Alive "You Spin Me Round" production of some generations back. Pass the poppers and the Geritol! Barry Harris, meanwhile -- best remembered as half of Thunderpuss (keep the poppers and Geritol coming) -- resurrects himself with the camp "Drama Queen" featuring the always-welcome voice of Canada's Simone Denny ("All Things Keep Getting Better". The theme for "Queer Eye"? Remember them? So 2003!)

Finally, another note to divas from Buddy Beaverhausen: If you're going to cover a pop classic, you better have something new to bring to it. Hear that, Mariah Carey? I Want to Know What Love Is, that's all I'm saying. Except that, when in Chelsea, make sure you check out Rainbows & Triangles on 8th Ave. between 19th & 20th Sts. for a very choice selection of dance cds. All I'm saying.