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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wild Turkey Time

Holiday cheer officially settled upon us with the American Music Awards ceremony, when Jennifer Lopez took a flying leap off the back of a hunky dancer-boy and landed flat on her famously significant buttocks. On the backs of her male dancers, as if they were merely a human staircase, J. Lo (or is it now Lo La?) ascended, stomping her way to the top in what appeared to be snow boots. (I'm just surprised it wasn't stilettos!) She then took her now-infamous, pre-Thanksgiving Day, wild-turkey leap; a piece of choreography apparently taken from the Britney Spears Handbook. Ker-plunk and ouch!

In the wings, I hear the diva vented her fury; fallout over the fall. And it was aimed at the dancers! The following day on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, she joked about the incident and said, "The measure of things isn't what happens when you fall, it's how you recover when you fall." Recover? Like leaping to your feet and bringing even more attention to the incident? Well, yeah, ok, all right.

And p.s.: Who was guilty of decking her out in that hideous costume?

La Lopez's latest dance single is strictly buzz, not intended for her upcoming album. Apparently under the impression that she, too, can be Lady Gaga, the newly reincarnated Lo La here again falls flat on her ass. "Fresh Out the Oven" sounds cold and stale. The preferred mix would be Karmatronic's. Space Cowboy -- best known for his work with Gaga -- offers a mercifully short mix. But poor Hex Hector, trying to show us he still has edge, comes up with a clunky, junky concoction that hardly elevates this tune (featuring Miami rapper Pit Bull) in any way.

Just a moment here, now, to comment on Adam Lambert's same-sex kiss on the above-mentioned Awards because I thought it was brave and right on. "Female performers have been doing this for years — pushing the envelope about sexuality — and the minute a man does it, everybody freaks out," commented Lambert and that is so true. I've always found it hypocritical that showing men together, performing all sorts of violent acts: wrestling, fisticuffs, etc. is acceptable, but any display of affection is taboo. This must change and Lambert has pushed the envelope for that to happen. Ecce homo, baby!

Now, will the real Lady Gaga (i.e., not Lo La) please stand up? Double-Ga's latest dance offering, "Bad Romance," is her best to date. The Bimbo Jones remix is close to heaven. And while already compared to Madonna, Cyndi Lauper and Gwen Stefani (though never Jennifer Lopez), Gaga coolly comes across here as nothing less than the new Debbie Harry. She's fierce, fabulous and fantastic -- and landing right on her feet no matter what she does.

And, finally, a Happy Thanksgiving to all you wild turkeys out there, whoever you might be!


  1. You are hilarious. I have to go check this out on youtube. I haven't seen it yet.

  2. It's ridiculous that J Lo is trying to get into the game again with the likes of GaGa and the others, stomping around on her hefty legs. However, the less said about about Adam Lambert's song, the better. The label must have realized that single was a turkey because he was singing a different (and better) song on David Letterman and CBS Early Show later in the same week.

  3. I loved what you said about the Adam Lambert same-sex kiss business and how guys can do this or that but they can't be affectionate, kiss each other or be gay -- forty years after Stonewall no less!

    I think you've got a great, funny blog here! Keep up the good work! Bill