Thursday, December 29, 2011

Advising Kelly Clarkson

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly! What am I going to do with you? First, you show up on VH-1 Divas in serious need of a girdle, and now you're endorsing Ron Paul! I've just about had enough, Miss Independent, do you hear me? Ah, what more can I say?

On Wednesday, you impulsively Tweeted, “I love Ron Paul." Uh-oh! Gasp! I could feel palpable tension building as I read that frivolous outburst. "I liked him a lot during the last republican nomination and no one gave him a chance.” Aw, honeybunch, stop or you're gonna make me cry. But she continued her madcap political indiscretions by uttering the death-defying words: “If he wins the nomination for the Republican party in 2012 he’s got my vote. Too bad he probably won’t.”

Well, it didn't take long before she was battered by incoming Tweets. "Stupid" was one of the harsh words cast before her like a rock during a stoning, as was “Now THAT is how you get someone to unfollow you on Twitter ... and in your career. Good luck — you’ll need it.”

Ah, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly! Sigh! What is going on with you fallen Idols, huh, babycakes? Just last week, Adam Lambert was involved in a high-profile imboglio with his sweetums in Helsinki. And now comes this outburst of yours, obviously made during a fit of feel-good, reactionary political thought (or, perhaps, non-thought; witlessness we'll call it; or even halfwit-lessness).

Haven't your careless outpourings been the bane of your existence? Does the name Clive Davis ring an alarum bell for you, missy? Remember the nasty feud that went on between you in 2007, and all because you refused any input from Davis, who was only the Chairman of RCA, the company releasing your album? An unnamed exec at RCA opined, at the time, "We pay millions for the albums. This is incorrect."

And then you opened your eyes ... and your mouth, to apologize. But your career did suffer, though, didn't it, pumpkin? Now here you go again! Don't you ever learn, Kelly, Kelly Clarkson?

Now, adding insult to injury, you reply to the reactions that your political support of a madman have stirred up like a nestful of angry hornets: "Man my eyes have been opened to so much hate tonight. If y’all ever disagree with something I say please don’t feel the need to attack me. I will listen to what you say and any articles or viewpoints you have when you say it with respect. Being hateful is not a healthy way to get people to see or hear you. I was raised to respect people and their decisions and beliefs and I hope you will grant me the same decency. If you don’t agree with me simply unfollow me. It’s really that easy. I hope you don’t because I would love the chance to hear what you have to say but if you’re so blinded by hate you can’t seek peace and progress then that is your unfortunate prerogative."

Thanks for the lesson, honey. But Peace, Progress and Paul just don't dovetail nicely; get a clue! The man is a racist and a homophobe. To which y'all's rebuttal was: “I am really sorry if I have offended anyone. Obviously that was not my intent. I do not support racism. I support gay rights, straight rights, women’s rights, men’s rights, white/black/purple/orange rights. I like Ron Paul because he believes in less government and letting the people (all of us) make the decisions and mold our country. That is all. Out of all of the Republican nominees, he’s my favorite.” (By the way, Kelly, you do not have to say things like you support straight rights, men's rights, or white people's rights because our society traditionally has supported those and they are basically not in question. Get it?)

Kelly, I disagree with something you said, and I don’t feel the need to attack you. I will listen to what you say and any articles or viewpoints you have when you say it with respect. So Kelly, I don't know who Tweeted and called you "stupid" but I'm afraid this opinion of yours -- your unfortunate prerogative -- seems to prove the Tweeter right. And, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, for your own good, try and grow a brain, honeychil' lamb.


  1. I can't stop laughing. Hope this blog goes 'round the world . . .

  2. I actually liked her.... until now.

  3. This is the biggest bullshit I have ever seen. So what she has an opinion, it doesnt make her stupid. Everyone has their own opinions. For you who wrote this article, if you want to judge peoples opinions just becasue they arent the same as yours, than yours is stupid as well.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Well, all righty then. Her opinion DOES make her stupid, sadly. "Than yours is stupid as well." Uh-huh. Obviously you're very bright either. Thanks, cheers, thanks a lot.

  6. Where is she now? That should tell the story.

  7. PS: No girdle I have ever seen could rescue that outfit!!!!