The Divine Miss M vs. Lady Gaga

None other than the Divine Miss M was the latest diva to accuse Lady Gaga of stealing her act. (Remember, this is how Madonna got started, stealing from the personas of Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper, et al.) La Ga emerged, in her Sydney performance, as a mermaid (alter ego: Yumi; I guess this is her Mimi, and her way of stealing from Mariah Carey; why rip off one diva when you can go for two?), traversing the stage via motorized wheelchair. Bette took exception. Well, naturally, since Bette's alter ego, Delores del Lago, is famous for her motorized-wheelchair-mobilized mermaid schtick! Whoever expected this would suddenly become an entire entertainment genre? Of course, both divas are indebted to Joan Crawford in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane." While not a mermaid, there was something definitely fishy about Joan's alter ego, Blanche Hudson. That lady could really work a chair, though! Ah, the memories of her spinning (no motor required) after seeing the dead rat (with dressing) on her dinner tray. That was some fancy wheelwork! Joan pioneered entertaining from a wheelchair as a choreographic art form (though not singing, she was shrieking, which Bette and Gaga certainly have resorted to at times).

But I've digressed once again, frightfully. An obviously displeased Bette tweeted in a twist, "I'm not sure lady gaga knows that I've performed my mermaid in a wheelchair for millions of people — and many of them are still alive. I've been doing singing mermaid in a wheelchair since 1980. You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker tits — mermaid's mine." But then Bette made nice: "Let's drink this over at the Emmys in September. Fabulous mermaids can coexist!" Lady Peaceful, Lady Happy.

“Maybe she was just joking.... She’s funny. Who knows?” Lady G told Access Hollywood, saying she was a big Bette fan who had no clue as to Bette's mermaid-in-a-wheelchair routine. Really?

"I admire her and find her to be one of the most brilliant and incredible performers," Gaga ceded. “Maybe we’re just cut from the same cloth. I couldn’t hop around in that tail so I just stuck myself in a wheelchair.” So young, so naive, so gagacious!

By the way, Bette and Gaga are being nominated for an Emmy in the same category: Best Mermaid in a Motorized Wheelchair. (Actually, it's Outstanding Performance in a Variety, Music or Comedy Special.) Let's hope that drink at the bar doesn't turn into a fin-fight! (Or, really, let's hope it does.)