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This year's #1 on the Billboard Top 50 Dance/Club Songs chart really blew me away! What a refreshing surprise that the UK's Emile Sande's "Next to Me," from her 2012 album release, is at the top. Sande is truly a diva to keep your eye on and your ears open for. This soul/funk upbeat throwback highlights the Scottish singer's distinctive vocals and songwriting skills. Mirrorball's Big Room mix is best in my opinion. How nice to have this settle atop the US chart!
Next to her, at #2, is Christina Aguilera's "Let There Be Love." More disco funk in fourth place with Daft Punk's "Get Lucky," a definite neuveau-disco and certainly one of the year's best dance tunes.
Frankly, though, there's a lot of crap at the top of the chart until you get to the acceptable "People Like Us" by Kelly Clarkson, at # 18 another pop radio tune remixed for clubs rather than a song intended for them. (She is also at #31 with "Catch My Breath.") Lovely to find Yoko Ono at #19 and Kylie Minogue's "Skirt" at #22.
Ellie Goulding occupies both the 24th and 26th spots. In the prior, she is featured vocalist on dance producer Calvin Harris' "I Need Your Love" and is solo star in the latter slot's "Anything Could Happen." Katy Perry's "Roar" at #27, again topping Lady Gaga on the chart though LaGa's release ("Applause") came later in the year and appears on the chart as numero 35.
Depeche Mode scored a major dance hit with "Heaven" (#29). Very happy to see Chris Cox + Dj Frankie's "Oh Mama Hey," featuring the voice of Crystal Waters, at #41. Truly one of my faves of 2013 that can bring me to the dancefloor any time. Tori Amos' "Flavor" is #42, buoyed by one of the late, great Peter Rauhofer's final remixes.
Cher's "Woman's World" sneaks in at #46, released mid-year.
And there we have it: your Hit Parade per Billboard featuring some of our current, beloved divas. Have a safe, holiday season and support the artists and the club venues and let's hope 2015 will bring a big return to true dance/club music for us all.
Last night, NBC presented more sounds of music with "Kelly Clarkson's Cautionary Christmas Music Tale," finding the diva in fine vocal form. The comic bits were corny, the child narrator grated on my nerves, the plethora of ads annoyed, but Kelly's performance was sterling.
The show's heart was in the right place with a sweet moral morsel at the end about the true spirit of Christmas, though the comedy filler was very contrived, featuring cameos and guest stars like Jai Rodriguez, Blake Shelton, William Shatner, Reba McEntire (Kelly's mother-in-law), Trish Yearwood, Jay Leno, Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Natalie Cole and Matt Lauer.
Against a highly accomplished orchestra and back-up singers, Clarkson's vocals were just amazing. Defiantly zaftig, she was indeed wrapped in red in a variety of complimentary gowns (mostly crimson), and it was refreshing to see divaliciously dolled up as it was having a non-stick figure in the spotlight.
Her song set opened beautifully with "Run, Run, Rudolph," a rock'n'roll classic, and ended with the Spectoresque "Underneath the Tree." En route were flawless, potent renditions of "Wrapped in Red," "My Favorite Things," a beautiful acapella harmony of "Silent Night" with Reba and Trish, the bluesy "Please Come Home for Christmas" and more.
This special was absolutely outstanding because of Kelly's tremendous singing talent, but proceed with caution regarding trite comedy moments that make old Bob Hope tv specials look edgy.
"Wrapped in Red," the opening track of Kelly Clarkson's new Christmas album of the same name, is a wonderful fusion of her powerful pipes in upper register and a Spectoresque production (album is produced by Greg Kurstin ) to ring in the holidays and her refreshing new Yuletide effort.
I may have taken the diva to task in what is still my most popular (and controversial, judging by the comments) blog post ever at a current 7,828 views. http://djbuddybeaverhausen.blogspot.com/2011/12/advising-kelly-clarkson.html But I have also heralded the best of her recent dance anthems, as well, on same blog. This holiday album is aces and I never had issues with KC's talent. Her promo images for "Wrapped in Red" have Kelly looking quite glam, too.
Country Weekly wrote: [F]or her Christmas album Wrapped in Red, Kelly
goes from full-on Darlene Love with Phil Spector in the original single
“Underneath the Tree” and title track... to a spectacularly soulful cover of “Blue Christmas” and a more traditional take on “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
Indeed, Spector's pop aesthetic influences a few of this album's more upbeat tracks. "Underneath the Tree" even includes a sax bridge and well-timed bells in the background. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," a melancholic holiday perennial, is solidly covered but not likely to make you forget Judy Garland's original version or even The Pretenders' cover featuring Chrissy Hynde. Likewise, "Blue Christmas" won't erase memories of Elvis (which it almost slavishly, at most time, emulates) or Cyndi Lauper's cover from last year. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is a cute duet with Ronnie Dunn, but haven't all duets of this perennial been cuties? Still, it may warm your cold insides like a cup of hot cocoa.
Kelly certainly makes "White Christmas" her own in a spare arrangement with piano. And she does a very nice version of the carol, "Silent Night," also with a soft hand on the production with back-up vocals effectively ending in dramatic acapella. "Run Run, Rudolph" rocks, a highlight of this album, certainly, allowing KC to put her own spin on the song popularized by Chuck Berry. "Please Come Home for Christmas" is beautifully soulful, and "My Favorite Things" (from The Sound of Music) is a wonderfully arranged swing/jazz interpretation showcasing the artist's vocal brilliance.
"4 Carats" is the dancefloor track from the "Stronger" songbird and producer. It distinctly owes a debt to "Santa Baby,"which isn't a bad thing. Imogen Heap's "Just for Now" is magnificently interpreted and put across. "Winter Dream" is a drop-dead gorgeous original. And you can't beat Kelly's bluesy powerhouse interpretation of the Billy Hayes & Jay Johnson number, "Every Christmas."
This is definitely a keeper to play for many holiday seasons to come. Recommended for your Christmas list.
With Memorial Day weekend nigh, Gay Pride events will be launched, lasting through the month of June. And what will the club anthems be on the floats, decks and dancefloors this year? Who will our Pride 2013 divas be?
Christina Aguilera's strong pipes send "Let There Be Love" up the charts. It is #2 on Billboard's Dance/Club and looks bound for #1 next week despite its less-than-memorable melody. The very same criticism can be said about dance mixes of Kelly Clarkson's club charter, "People Like Us." The tune is meant to be anthemic, yet all that really registers is its hook. There is something cold and robotic about this "anthem," too. Kelly's vocals are strong but punched across without much genuine feeling; a technical exercise.
Sometimes, it's all in the remix. Chris Cox works wonders with Kat Deluna's "Stars," letting the young diva's vocals skim above the haunting electronica that's sure to draw you to the dancefloor. The disco-influenced Jump Smokers remix of Rod Stewart's "Sexual Religion" also brings that '70s "diva" back to the limelight. Nice work, Jump Smokers! And people, do you want Rod's body? Still?
Celebrating 40 amazing years in the industry, Chaka Khan has a new release to drop just in time for Pride. And her new body's looking very sexy, indeed. "It's Not Over" is a well-written, soulful tune with a powerful hook that is bound to chart and make you want to move onto the dancefloor. Ralphi Rosario's remix is distinctly the cream of the crop. And, yes, when Chaka socks it to you, it's from the gut.
But the true club divas rule. Ultra Nate's latest tune, "Everybody Loves the Night" is a dancefloor-designed beauty produced and mixed by Brinsley Evans, RedTop, Bill Coleman and Count DeMoney with back-up vocals by Inaya Day, joe DNA, Lisa Molina, & Toni Seawright. Irresistible!
Inaya Day has her own new club song out, done with Dj Escape, "Make Some Noise!" And she does make noise. Beautifully. These are the divas who may dominate this year's Pride around the world. Check them out. And download. MP3s available from Amazon.com.
In his Inauguration address today, President Obama proclaimed: "Our journey is not complete until our gay
brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law. For if
we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one
another must be equal as well." This is to be applauded; a sign of hope; a defiance of all the haters. It was also the observance of Martin Luther King Day today, which made the struggle for equality all that more poignant. As dance diva Debby Holiday revealed on her Facebook timeline: "As a little girl ... I remember walking down the street in LA, holding my white mother's hand (and, child I mean WHITE)!! We rec'd stares everywhere. I mean EVERYwhere!! Sometimes people were even quite cruel to my mother. As if she'd committed the ultimate sin. Lovin one of them Negros.
"So, on this day ... where America Inaugurated our first Black President
(well, mixed like me) AGAIN - meaning it was not a fluke, on MLK's
official Birthday, and said the word Gay for the first time in an
Inauguration speech & hearing his continued belief in equal pay for
women & a road for our immigrants towards citizenship & dignity
... Well, on this day ... that little mixed girl is smiling.
"Because now -- as a woman who is proud of her black & Irish heritage
& loves her gay friends & her friends of just about every
nationality ... On this day ... this Woman is Proud of how far we've
come since that little girl bowed her head in confusion and, I am so
damn hopeful for the road ahead."
That truly describes the advances we've made in America towards total equality and a just and fair society, and against discrimination, hatred and prejudice. Today was an outstanding day that we, in the USA, celebrate! We are a society that no longer discriminates against women, people of color and people of various affectionate orientations. We have progressed. We have largely fulfilled Dr Martin Luther King's dream.
And, I assume it was no coincidence that two gay-fave and fabulous divas were asked to perform at the Inauguration: Beyonce ("National Anthem", introduced by New York's own Chuck Schumer) and Kelly Clarkson ("My Country T'is of Thee," known elsewhere as "God Bless the King" )! I was especially proud of Kelly since she took my advice from my most viral blog post to date. http://djbuddybeaverhausen.blogspot.com/2011/12/advising-kelly-clarkson.html
There's a brilliance about Peter Rauhofer's big room anthem mix of "Skyfall" that will immediately draw you to the dancefloor. All I can say is Wow! It's an exciting rework that enhances Adele's James Bond theme song while preserving the integrity of the original version. You can download at http://soundcloud.com/workparties/skyfall-peter-rauhofer-big
Peter does an equally fabulous club mix of "Flavor," bringing Tori Amos back to discoland, where she has been sorely missed. The style of this mix is so similar to that of "Skyfall," it's evident they could easily be mixed together in a set, though it also hints at a kind of cookie-cutter approach on Rauhofer's part, perhaps in an attempt to land another mainstream club hit. (Listen at link below.)
Expose is back with the 2012 remixes of "Shine On." (Expose is Ann Curliss, Jeanette Jurado and Gioia Bruno, if you're not already aware.) This '80s girl group is back in style with a well-written song and a series of powerful mixes by Klubjumpers, Amy Alderman and -- my fave -- the Chris Thomas Light of Love remix.
Dj Buddy B when he twirled in his loin cloth
Almighty Records are amazing! They are one of the most successful indy labels of all time and internationally successful remixers as well. Their new cover of Tarzana's "Tarzan Boy," by Amazonia, is unabashedly hiNRG in the label's inimitable style and I love it! It will make you want to twirl in your loin cloth.
Sweden's Gravitonas always engages us with their nouveau NRG/electronica. The band's new "Incredible" is just that, produced by Alexander Bard, the man who brought us Army of Lovers ("Crucified") in the '80s.
All hail hit-making Dj Lenny B's remix of Kelly Clarkson's "Catch My Breath"! It is a "gotta dance," moving, upbeat experience that mainstream club crowds hunger for. Check it out. The Dj Tristan Jaxx bootleg remix of Cher's "A Woman's World" has, meanwhile, surfaced, and who can resist? "Hard core dance music," was Cher's description of her forthcoming album that will feature this single. Nice work on this leaked, unofficial club mix.
Kisses out to my blog readers this week for record views from Australia, United Arab Emirates, Poland, Hungary and Italy. And to the US, UK, Indonesia, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and Mexico for strong, continued support.
Ok, everybody, it's holiday time! Let's Party and Spread the Love into the New Year!
Again, a totally biased and selective sorting out of the latest, top 25 Billboard Top Dance/Club tracks. Let's go where the boys are this week, namely two openly gay artists, Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters and Adam Lambert. Lambert's number, "Never Close Our Eyes," is a dancefloor beauty and it is propelled on the latest Billboard chart by several commendable extended remixes, my favorite being the Almighty mix. Here's hoping it's taken higher, all the way to #1, where it deserves to be.
Scissor Sisters' "Only the Horses" galloped to fifth place, only to be corralled at #16 this week, down five rungs from last week's #11 spot. However, "Let's Have a Kiki," #30 on Billboard Dance last week, has boogied on up to #18 on our latest outing, giving Sisters Sisters two top-25 charters from their new album simultaneously.
This week's #1 spot is currently coveted by Jenifer Lopez. Her "Goin' In" has gone in and toppled Kylie Minogue from her perch. "Timebomb" has been deactivated and relegated to the #5 spot, where fallen number-ones are prone to land, it seems. Katy Perry landed there last week after being trounced from her #1 by Kylie; her "Wide Awake" finds itself at #7 this time out. Divas may find themselves sitting pretty in the world of dance-music charts, but theirs is unfortunately always a short shelf life.
Kelly Clarkson's "Dark Side" nudges up one spot, from third to second place, possibly looking at the #1 spot next week. Of course, Madonna is the week's "Greatest Gainer," according to Billboard, with "Turn Up the Radio" turning up the diva heat and bounding its way up from last week's #19 to the current #8 spot. There's no reason to believe Madge couldn't make another leap of this sort next week, finding itself at #1 against her stalwart competition.
Cyndi Lauper's frankly fabulous "Sex Is in the Heel" staggers up to #13 from 18th place last go-round. I'm hoping it will find itself in the top ten next week, then make its way even higher, with the tippy-top a real possibility for her as well.
Of the nuevo, femme-fronted rock groups, Florence & the Machine arrives at 14th place with "Spectrum (Say My Name)" while Gossip drops precipitously from its #8 peak to #19.
And that rounds out this week's Billboard dance hits (as all upcoming tracks from 20 through 25 are not worth discussing, to put it bluntly. Remember, this is a completely subjective overview.)
Meanwhile, keep dancing! Dance music brings us together; dance music is on a global mission for peace. People all over the world, participate! And a big, special cry out of thanks this week to my blog's readers in Indonesia, Phillipines, Brazil, the UK, Italy, Germany, Russia, Mexico, France, Canada, Colombia and Argentina!
This week, on the top 25 Billboard Dance/Club chart, some of our most prominent divas of dance have made their way to the top.
Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" unsurprisingly finds that pop goddess sitting pretty in the numero uno spot, as she was upwardly mobile at #2 last week. Right behind her, like a heat-seeking missile, is Kylie Minogue and her "Timebomb." I'll be very surprised (not to mention upset) if it doesn't explode into the #1 hit next week.
JLo's "Goin' In" to the third spot this time out, with Kelly Clarkson's "Dark Side" a bright fourth place. Best in show, "Only the Horses," performed by Scissor Sisters, rounds out the top 5. I mean, I'm happy to call Jake Shears a "diva," and expect "Let's Have a Kiki" to chart soon as well.
Very thrilled that Cyndi Lauper has returned to the dance chart with her delicious "Sex Is in the Heel." Aided and abetted by several hot remixes, this number is from an upcoming Broadway show, book by none other than Harvey Fierstein, music by Ms Lauper. Welcome back to clubland, Cyn!
Nelly Fertado's "Big Hoops" buoys her to twelfth place. ("The Bigger the Better" as the song says.) while Gossip's splended "Perfect World" nicely nudges up a notch to #9. Kathareine McPhee's "Touch Me" (from tv's "Smash") gets a bounce up to #16 from 17 last week, with 10 solid weeks on the chart and a peak at 4th place.
Adam Lambert's great "Never Close Our Eyes" blasts upward like a rocket. Number 23 last week, it's now at 18. And Eddie Amador and Kimberly Cole's dance sensation, "U Make Me Wanna" is up at 15, four rungs higher than last week's charting.
Until my next totally selective and biased, but absolutely honest, view of Billboard's Dance/Club Songs, keep dancing, keep clubbing, keep the faith and spread the love! ~~ Dj Buddy Beaverhausen
Hot as the summer itself, here are where the divas that interest me are for the week ending July 21.
Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" is up two notches, currently at third place with the #1 spot (currently occupied by The Wanted's "Chasing the Sun") well within her reach. But there's more than a Firework on its way up her butt as Kylie Minogue's at #4 with "Timebomb," perhaps the hottest song of summer so far (though it isn't summer Down Under). In any case, it's positively incendiary and is Billboard's "Greatest Gainer" pick of the week.
Two of the songs, and the divas, I've been rooting for dipped this week on the chart, much to my disappointment. Because I love these songs and think these women deserve the top spot more than many who've arrived there of late. Debby Holiday's strong, beautiful "Key to Your Soul" (already a gay anthem) dips one rung to the 23rd spot. It's completely possible it could bounce back up, I tell myself. And Katharine McPhee's "Touch Me" (from the NBC-tv series, "Smash") may have peaked at #4 last time as it now has sunken to #9. Still, it had a nice, long ride upward. http://djbuddybeaverhausen.blogspot.com/2012/06/buddy-bs-exclusive-q-with-debby-holiday.html
Jennifer Lopez's "Goin' In" goes up like a rocket, quickly following up on the success of "Dance Again," which reached #1 on the club chart, and on the pop and radio charts as well. "Goin' In" quickly snagged the 18th position last week, and is now all the way in and up at #9.
Kelly Clarkson shows off her "Dark Side" and remixes lift her from last week's #20 to this week's #10. This moved faster than Aretha Franklin devouring a cheesecake (to paraphrase Joan Rivers). Sorry, but I don't think this is anywhere near as good a dance tune as Kelly's last effort, "Stronger," which showed off her Nietzschean side. (I'm so sure Miss Clarkson pours over his philosophical treatises during her free time.) http://djbuddybeaverhausen.blogspot.com/2011/12/advising-kelly-clarkson.html
Toni Braxton, who took "I Heart You" to #1, has made a graceful deflation off the chart, still nicely sitting at 18. Carly Rae Jepsen still snug as a bug with "Call Me Maybe" (loving the Almighty UK mix), which peaked at #15. Gossip's "Perfect World" makes a grand entrance into the top 25, at #23 this week, and Scissor Sisters, with power diva Jake Shears, are now at #17, riding "Only the Horses." (I must confess I prefer "Let's Have a Kiki" but have yet to find a decent extended remix.)
Shakira may have told us "Hips Don't Lie," but Nelly Furtado arrives in 25th place with "Big Hoops (Bigger the Better)." And those are the top Divas of the Top 25 of the Billboard dance/club chart this week. Till next time, peace, love and dance your ass off for happiness! Bigger the better.
Below, the video for Scissor Sisters' "Kiki." I love it!
"What makes a pretentious album?" asks the UK's NME on-line magazine, academically, before it answers its own question. "A groan-inducing concept, lots of highfalutin waffle, and a ridiculous cover. If you’re lucky you get all three at once."
Lady Gaga's Born This Way tops NME's list of 10 albums that includes Terence Trent D'Arby's Neither Fish nor Flesh, Lou Reed & Metallica's Lulu and Peter Townshend's Psychoderelict.
"For a while Gaga was the most exciting pop star on the planet. Then on ‘Born This Way’ she seemed to believe in her own hype," NME says, "convinced that she had a message to share. Cue an album of unwieldy ‘anthems’ that couldn’t mask the fact the fun had left the building."
Well, I don't know who put a bug up NME's ass about Gaga but I feel her album doesn't belong on that list at all, never mind appearing as its #1 Most Pretentious album. Rather, I think bashing Born is a cynical attention-getter on a list that otherwise sports albums that have garnered public apathy and even scorn.
Today, Lady Gaga offered this great reply on Facebook: "Oh the irony of winning "Most Pretentious Album Ever" from none other than NME. *eyeroll* I might laugh forever + then return to narcissism."
But let's turn our attention briefly this week to another list: The Billboard Top 25 Dance/Club Play Songs chart. Kelly Clarkson forcefully takes over the #1 spot with "Stronger (Whatever Doesn't Kill You)" empowerment track, greatly abetted by her remixers; especially, in my mind, 7th Heaven. Last week's #1, the girl-group NRG number, "Dance On" by Blush, meanwhile drops to 9th place on a diva-challenged chart full of dross.
After securing the 7th spot last week, Erasure's "Be with You" drops to #13. However, Yoko Ono's back (always a good sign), bouncing into the Top 25 at #22 with her latest, "She Gets Down on Her Knees," which brings me then to Madonna.
"Give Me All Your Luvin'," prominently featured during Madonna's excellent Super Bowl half-time show, snags the 24th Billboard Dance/Club spot, hugely up from the 54th spot last week as it enters the Top 25 list.
Meanwhile, Cher just Tweeted she's touring in September. The Farewell Farewell Farewell Again Tour? (Where do I get my tickets?)
Until the next time, love, peace, happiness & disco to everyone, all over the world from Dj Buddy B!
So, I advised the diva in a gone-viral post, and I'm forgiving her this time for irresponsibly endorsing Ron Paul. The 7th Heaven remix is my favorite of her catchy new number. (I certainly don't deny her talent.)
The dance artist simply known as Amber, a consistent and supportive friend of the LGBT community as well, announced this week that she has returned to the studio to work on a new album. This is big news in dance-music circles, as Amber has inspired us to get up and move it since the '90s, with hits like "This Is Your Night," "Sexual," "Melt with the Sun" and "Above the Clouds."
The recording studio is "[o]bviously one of the places on Earth, where I am happiest...," she recently expressed to friends. So I'm anticipating great things. Amber was a Grammy nominee as the writer of "Love One Another" for Cher's cover version (Amber originally recorded the song) and also wrote "Bless You Child" for Bette Midler, which deserved to have remixers on board for a maxi-single of 12" club mixes. Never happened, though the tune is dancetastic even on the album version.
Amber's last club hit was a cover of "No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)." Zelma Davis, of C&C Music Factory fame, collaborated on the duet.
The forthcoming album is produced by longtime collaborator Wolfram Dettki, whom she's worked with since the beginning of her recording career, Amber explained to me. However, her first two albums were produced by the Berman Brothers. Amber then began to assert control over her career and, when she did Sexual, her third album, Dettki was producer and has been to this day. (Ummm, the Thunderpuss remix of "Sexual" is so awesome, still!)
So, welcome back, Amber! We eagerly await your newest work and hope it will make its way up the Billboard Dance/Club chart to #1. Which is where we're going next... but after the official 1999 video for Amber's song, "Sexual" (album version) which, on Billboard's club chart that year, made it all the way to #1. She's going to do it again, folks, I just know it!
Now, first, some amazing news from Billboard's pop chart before we go on to dance music. Says Billboard:
Beloved actress and singer Doris Day returns to the Billboard 200 after a 47-year absence, as "My Heart" debuts at No. 135.
First released in England, the set began at No. 9 on the Official U.K. Albums Chart in September, marking Day's first top 10 on the list. With the bow, Day, 87, became the senior-most female artist to notch a U.K. top 10 with a collection of newly-released material.
On the Billboard 200, Day appears for the first time since 1964, when "Love Him!" spent eight weeks on the chart, peaking at No. 102.
"Heart" features recordings produced by Day's son, Terry Melcher, before his death in 2004....
I have to admit that Doris Day, as both an actress and singer, has been a lifelong guilty pleasure of mine. Kudos, Doris! Any thoughts of co-starring in anything with Betty White? She's an animal rights activist, too. Could she, maybe, coax you out of retirement with the idea of proceeds going to PETA?
So, now, the dance chart, Top 25 update: Gloria Estefan usurps the #1 spot this week, as the divine Deborah Cox tumbles to ten with the Janice Robinson-penned "If It Wasn't for Love," which is fantastic. Estefan's "Hotel Nacional" is swing-gone-disco, Dr Buzzard-style; so, hey, Puppini Sisters, get some remixes together, girls!
Lady Gaga's "Marry the Night," also a numero uno, beds down at #8 after a strong 7 weeks on the Dance Chart. Florence + the Machine's "Shake It Out" stalls at #4 but could rev up next week. Let's see.
Rosabel's "Let Me Be Myself" hits 11 after snagging #7 last week, but the great Ultra Nate & Michelle Williams' "Waiting on You" rises, after a slow start, to #12 from 17 last week. I hope this one goes to the bitchin' top!
Erika Jayne's "Party People" and Traci Lords' "Last Drag" are clinging in there, currently at 13 and 19, respectively. Plumb's dreamy "Drifting" drifts up to 14 from last week's 20 (good going!) and "Be with You" by Britain's Erasure soars from #22 to 17.
Now, Kelly! Kelly Clarkson, after all that advice I bestowed on you, sweety, in that infamous blog piece... Honey baby child lamb, you got your ass in the #24 nitch with "Stronger" (and I guess you are)! And, last week, you were #40! Bitch: all's I got to say! Except, I do like the song. Really.
Finally, Gravitonas holds on, against the gravitational pull, but at numero 25. And that rounds out the Billboard Dance/Club Chart Top 25 for the week!
Ok, love you all! Kisses, bitches, all over this fucking globe! Thanks for your support! Blog's going through the stratosphere. Thanks to everyone around the planet, and welcome aboard, Iceland!
Year of the Dragon: know it's gonna be hot (I'm a dragon)! Best to everyone, and much universal love!
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly! What am I going to do with you? First, you show up on VH-1 Divas in serious need of a girdle, and now you're endorsing Ron Paul! I've just about had enough, Miss Independent, do you hear me? Ah, what more can I say?
On Wednesday, you impulsively Tweeted, “I love Ron Paul." Uh-oh! Gasp! I could feel palpable tension building as I read that frivolous outburst. "I liked him a lot during the last republican nomination and no one gave him a chance.” Aw, honeybunch, stop or you're gonna make me cry. But she continued her madcap political indiscretions by uttering the death-defying words: “If he wins the nomination for the Republican party in 2012 he’s got my vote. Too bad he probably won’t.”
Well, it didn't take long before she was battered by incoming Tweets. "Stupid" was one of the harsh words cast before her like a rock during a stoning, as was “Now THAT is how you get someone to unfollow you on Twitter ... and in your career. Good luck — you’ll need it.”
Ah, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly! Sigh! What is going on with you fallen Idols, huh, babycakes? Just last week, Adam Lambert was involved in a high-profile imboglio with his sweetums in Helsinki. And now comes this outburst of yours, obviously made during a fit of feel-good, reactionary political thought (or, perhaps, non-thought; witlessness we'll call it; or even halfwit-lessness).
Haven't your careless outpourings been the bane of your existence? Does the name Clive Davis ring an alarum bell for you, missy? Remember the nasty feud that went on between you in 2007, and all because you refused any input from Davis, who was only the Chairman of RCA, the company releasing your album? An unnamed exec at RCA opined, at the time, "We pay millions for the albums. This is incorrect."
And then you opened your eyes ... and your mouth, to apologize. But your career did suffer, though, didn't it, pumpkin? Now here you go again! Don't you ever learn, Kelly, Kelly Clarkson?
Now, adding insult to injury, you reply to the reactions that your political support of a madman have stirred up like a nestful of angry hornets: "Man my eyes have been opened to so much hate tonight. If y’all ever disagree with something I say please don’t feel the need to attack me. I will listen to what you say and any articles or viewpoints you have when you say it with respect. Being hateful is not a healthy way to get people to see or hear you. I was raised to respect people and their decisions and beliefs and I hope you will grant me the same decency. If you don’t agree with me simply unfollow me. It’s really that easy. I hope you don’t because I would love the chance to hear what you have to say but if you’re so blinded by hate you can’t seek peace and progress then that is your unfortunate prerogative."
Thanks for the lesson, honey. But Peace, Progress and Paul just don't dovetail nicely; get a clue! The man is a racist and a homophobe. To which y'all's rebuttal was: “I am really sorry if I have offended anyone. Obviously that was not my intent. I do not support racism. I support gay rights, straight rights, women’s rights, men’s rights, white/black/purple/orange rights. I like Ron Paul because he believes in less government and letting the people (all of us) make the decisions and mold our country. That is all. Out of all of the Republican nominees, he’s my favorite.” (By the way, Kelly, you do not have to say things like you support straight rights, men's rights, or white people's rights because our society traditionally has supported those and they are basically not in question. Get it?)
Kelly, I disagree with something you said, and I don’t feel the need to attack you. I will listen to what you say and any articles or viewpoints you have when you say it with respect. So Kelly, I don't know who Tweeted and called you "stupid" but I'm afraid this opinion of yours -- your unfortunate prerogative -- seems to prove the Tweeter right. And, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, for your own good, try and grow a brain, honeychil' lamb.
Of tonight's (oft to be rerun) special, VH1 Divas Celebrates Soul, you'll have a rollicking good time at kick-off but may well want to turn in early. It's not merely the duration of the 2-hour special (including copious commercials) but, after the first 45-minutes, the best of it has mostly passed.
And what was Miss Independent, Kelly Clarkson in the flesh, doing there? Ok, she's got a great pop voice but soul? Kelly, tragically, looked so bovine, I was checking her misguidedly clinging outfits for signs of udders. I know Kelly thinks everyone just thinks she's fat but, reality check, Miss Kelly, forearms don't lie! The meat on those babies shouldn't swing like pendulums do as you fist pump the air, all right?
On the other hand, Misses Mary J. Blige and Jennifer Hudson ("JHud") stunned in their thin, trim looks in a variety of sexy, becoming outfits. Weight Watchers, I'm there (again)! These three ladies opened the show in the strongest portion that frequently seemed like an elaborate plug for the upcoming film release of "Joyous Noise," starring the odd coupling of Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton. Those two amazing broads, who were the first set of emcees, are always a joy for me to hear and see. A class act even if, at this point, Dolly and Joan Rivers seem to be sharing the same face.
Early on, soul music and the history of it, was a steady focus. A thread throughout, talking heads discuss soul music, including archival interviwees like Smokey Robinson, Isaac Hayes, Teddy Pendergrass, Sade and Curtis Mayfield amongst others.
While certain divas like Erykah ("badass") Badu and Marsha Ambrosius (who seemed taxed beyond her abilities) simply annoy, the roster for the night was chockful of the divine: Chaka Khan, Estelle, Mavis Staples, Martha Reeves (now Vandella-less, her voice a glorious wreck) and a dottering Wanda Jackson who, nonetheless, proved to be a delight (assisted by a nurturing Sharon Jones).
Brooklyn's own Miss Jones was, in fact, a major beacon of light throughout this show, as her cult phenom is on the cusp of breakthrough as major artist. Her first appearance stunned in a fauxhawk that resembled Divine's hair in the later part of Female Trouble. The UK impressed with the voices of Florence (Welch) and The Machine, and Jessie J. Dear Florence looks like the love child of Vanessa Redgrave and David Bowie while Miss J pranced about in a variety of punk glad rags in true rock-star fashion.
But, before halftime, the show became tedious, unfocused and even off-topic. The Amy Winehouse portion was a pandering snoozefest and even Florence and the Machine seemed to deliver a half-hearted cover of "Back to Black."
The whole thing ended oddly, abruptly and without real closure with its ode to classic Chicago soul that included a great version of Fontella Bass' "Rescue Me," rendered by Sharon Jones and others, and Chaka Khan & Mary J. Blige doing a rousing "Ain't Nobody" for finale. Chaka's powerful pipes have not been diminished by time and Blige treats her singing partner respectfully. Unlike that VH1 Divas show past where Whitney Houston trotted Ms Khan out for "I'm Every Woman," simply to walk all over her by having the more amped mike in hand, reducing the great Chaka to back-up girl status. Feeling the wrath of Khan, Whitney?
Prior to the Chicago segment, though, was the song that could have -- and should have -- coalesced and ended this show if the editing department was on the ball. It was Jennifer Hudson's Night of Your Life. A new number, magnificently soulful, very diva-esque, and begging for remixes to spill it onto the dance floor. I'll bet those mixes are already under wraps and in the can. Soul divas are still happening, and their beat goes on, beyond this uneven special that, nonetheless, brought together a brilliant array of talent.
This week, on the top 25 Billboard Dance/Club chart, some of our most prominent divas of dance have made their way to the top. 
