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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Nicki Minaj's Newest Fragrance: Minajesty

As you know, it's not enough to merely be a diva these days. You must be an industry with an industrial-strength scent all your own. Enter Nicki Minaj with her second perfume, Minajesty.

My God! Ads are plastered all over the subways for this item. Today, on my commute, I was in a Minajesty-themed car, I realized, gazing up upon the arch glamour ads just above the faces of weary, working-class riders And I thought: what a wonderfully effective campaign!

Nicki looks beautiful and very glam in the ads, though, I must admit -- kinda like the poor man's RuPaul. But the bottle design is downright scary. Looks like Grace Jones on a bender with a gold-plated face! The kiss of death from Mr Goldfinger.

The ad campaign is sheer camp, queens take note. She is talkin' to you, girlfriends! Ok? "Believe in your Queendom" -- does that appeal to you bitches? "You can be the king but watch the queen conquer" -- all right then! This may be the first major fragrance pitched toward trannies. And it's available at Macy's.

"All hail her Minajesty," reads another ad blurb. Per its official press release, the odor is described thusly: “sultry floral gourmand,” with “luscious fruits and luxurious fresh florals, draped in creamy vanilla and pure musks.” Gee! What do gourmands smell like? Can anyone tell me? Well, I just had to find out. Dropped by Macy's Herald Square (what a zoo) to get a whiff of the musk as I thought it a must! Elbowed my way to a sample bottle to spray on my wrist. E.U.! Smelled like rotting grapefruit! If citrus mulch is your thing, I recommend this scent to you.

The press release also informs us that the bottle makes a “bold and confident statement” with its “outrageous presence and vivacious allure.” In other words, huge freaking pink box, tiny bottle.

If there are any grapefruit queens out there, this is certainly the scent you want. Otherwise, my verdict is pee-yew. Get my drift?

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