My Gay Card Has Arrived

Have you ever had to "Turn in your Gay Card" because you maybe, for example, misquoted Patty Duke as Neely O'Hara in Valley of the Dolls? Or didn't know all the lyrics to a Cher song? Well, now you have the chance to obtain a new one.

You see, Visa and Western Union are offering a rainbow card, directed toward the LGBT community.

"Paying with Pride," reads Western Union's promotional copy. "Now there is a new way to pay that shows you have PRIDE! A new vibrant, bright, gay rainbow payment card is available for those that want to pay with pride! You see, Pride is about far more than a day of parades and parties, it is a state of mind, a state of living that you carry around with you everyday, so why not show that pride with something useful and handy to have – the new Pride and Gay Street Debit Visa cards."

Translation: Pride is about far more than a day of parades and parties, it is a state of shopaholism! Spend, honeys, spend!

"These Debit Visa cards give you all the perks of both a credit card and a checking account – but without the fees – regardless of your credit standing. What is more, you can use either card wherever the Visa sign is accepted – anywhere in the World! You can also use the card to withdraw funds at literally thousands of ATM machines, so you’ll never be far away from your money." Phew! "Adding funds to the card could not be easier, you’ll be able to conveniently load money with Western Union, PayPal, bank transfers, MoneyPak, direct deposit of wages or federal benefits payments. It is a 24/7/365 card so it’s always available whenever you need it."

Well, after they pitched this debit card idea to me through ads on Facebook, I signed on and received the colorful card within a week. I think it's perfect for making small purchases and keeps me within my budget. You can only spend what you already have available, after all. The only monthly cost is a $5.95 maintenance fee.

And, honestly, look how pretty the Gay Card (at top) is! Not glum and serious at all but so bright and cheerful, I expect to hear The Wizard of Oz's Optimistic Voices whenever I use this on-line (as a Visa credit card) or in stores. Now I can do my gay shopping till I do my gay dropping without accruing any debt and being out, proud and fabulous as I do so.

Yes, now I have my Gay Card. Turn it in? You better think twice before you lay a finger on this. I mean, puh-leeze, bitches!