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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

So Wrong, Solange!

Oh, it must be difficult to be washed up at 27, lying on the rocks and the debris of a career. What do you do? How do you get press attention? How about kicking the shit out of your famous, successful brother-in-law on an elevator with a security camera!

Well, of course, the incident went viral on the Internet once TMZ released the video footage, showing the would-be diva being restrained by a bodyguard. This is so Brian DePalma Dressed to Kill, dahlings! Violence on an elevator where there's nowhere to run for the victim.

Solange's songs all failed to chart on the Billboard's pop chart, though she had a few minor club hits. Remixes can camouflage so many flaws, as we know.  I rather liked "Sandcastle Disco," actually!  I've written about Beyonce's younger sister before. She's trippy.
Ah, yes! "Fuck the Industry"! What an epic fail that was. Solange was telling it like it is. Like everyone was just dying to hear her thoughts about the music industry on the radio and in the clubs. You couldn't dance that hot mess around, sweeties, if your life depended on it. The music industry obviously took note and said "fuck you" right back.

Solange claims to be influenced by the Motown girl groups, and especially by Diana Ross. To my knowledge, Miss Ross has yet to comment.

I thought it rather odd that Beyonce remained so aloof on that elevator during the goings-on. Where does she get her meds? She was very Mona Lisa-like during all this. And very image-conscious, I must say, to be so reaction free. What restraint! So very, very Stepford Diva!

The New York Daily News today reported that the elevator incident that occurred at The Standard, Highline, in Manhattan on Monday, May 12 happened because Solange "didn't like the way her brother-in-law Hova was hovering over designer Rachel Roy at the Met Gala after-party May 5, sources told the Daily News.... Before Knowles erupted in a fury of fists and feet in an elevator, smacking Jay Z several times, the soul singer had yelled at Roy to keep her distance, sources said....
'Rachel is a little too close to Jay Z,'  a source told the Daily News.... 'Solange doesn't like it, and Beyoncé doesn't like it.'"

Well, I say, we don't have to like it, we don't have to take it but is brawling really the best and brightest solution?  Apparently so, as "Tuesday afternoon, Jay Z and sister-in-law Solange Knowles appeared to make nice by going jewelry shopping together at Mr. Flawless, a high-end New York jewelry store," said The Washington Post today. What an excellent reward for bratty behavior and emotional immaturity. Brava!

However, the Daily News also reported: Tensions were already running high when Jay Z — while walking to the now-infamous Standard Hotel elevator — said he was going to the Rihanna bash rather than heading home with Beyoncé.
“Why can’t you go home?” a drunken Solange Knowles said to her brother-in-law as they left the swanky May 5 Met Gala after-party, a source told The News.
Then the 27-year-old singer turned to her 32-year-old big sis Beyoncé.
“Why does your husband need to go to the club right now?” Solange asked, according to the source.
An incensed Jay Z took offense to Solange getting involved in his business.

Hence, she beat the crap out of him. (And, believe you me, that's a lot of crap!)

I hope the next time that I become drunk and abusive, my prey responds by taking me jewelry shopping the next day, as if apologizing to me. As for Solange, she's reportedly considering going on Saturday Night Live to satirize the elevator incident. Seems like she got the attention she wanted. And maybe even a bauble or two.

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