Monday, May 6, 2013

Revisiting Rehab with Lindsay Lohan

I couldn't help but notice that Lindsay Lohan wore virginal white with big, I'm Somebody sunglasses to L.A. County Court today. I was initially under the impression she was going to turn herself in and throw herself upon the mercy of the court regarding her performance as Elizabeth Taylor in Liz & Dick, a cable-tv movie in the US and hopefully unreleased throughout the world at large. But, no. Lohan checked in Thursday to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage. Lohan was on the verge of another arrest -- and jail -- if she did not go to rehab, explained the Los Angeles Times.

The devil made her do it.
Honey, La Lohan, La Lindsay, LiLo or whatever you want to call Miss Thingy, is far better known for her run-ins with the law, substance abuse, binge drinking, rudeness to fans (she actually has some fans, it would appear), brawls, shoplifting and other escapades than for her lackluster movie career. I have suspected she has actually been auditioning, on the real-world stage, to star in an upcoming John Waters film. Still, she is a movie legend in her own mind.

Frankly, I think Lindsay gave her best performance to date as Bette Midler's tween-aged daughter in the flop tv series, Bette. Fourteen-year-old Lindsay was only in the pilot episode, however, and was subsequently replaced by another child actress. Jane Fonda, who co-starred with Lindsay in the flop movie, Georgia Rules, told the press she had no regrets about telling Missy Lohan off on the set for her unprofessional behavior. Why, Lindsay's headlined so many flops, it should be her middle name. Lindsay "Floppy" Lohan. Or LiFloLo. Has a nice ring to it!

Lindsay's latest court date was arranged so that she could request to go to the Betty Ford clinic rather than face a harsher judgement for violating her previous rehab assignment. The judge approved the request, and Ms Lohan's now in for 90 days. Let's see how this works out. She knows everybody there, it has been mentioned, and she's already complaining about conditions.

"I look at it as a good thing. I can come back afterwards and be fully focused on work. But I think there are other things I could do instead of going to a rehab center that would benefit me more," she told Piers Morgan today. "The best thing they could do for me would be to make me go abroad to different countries and work with children."

Seriously. That's what she said. People, be prepared. There's more drama to come over the next 90 days. Lindsay loves to act out, Louise, act out! And all the world's her stage. She will next appear in Paul Schrader's erotic drama, The Canyons, opposite porn star James Deen.


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