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Monday, June 4, 2012

The Jubilee's Diamond Divas

Girl Gone Wild

What does it take to make this old girl lose control? Unlike Patty Duke, it's likely not to be a hot dog.

The impression I have of Queen E watching the below performances is that she's having no fun. C'mon, honey, bust a move! I mean, Dame Shirley Bassey can't be all that hard for you to take! Granted, it looks like her last face-lift makes it difficult for her to keep her left eye open, but she still can belt it out! She's looking good plus she thoughtfully sang a song with the word "diamonds" in it for the occasion. Couldn't you let it rip with a big wooo? Or were you wondering, inspecting the exaggerated hand gestures, who this drag queen was?

Kylie was there. Sensitively did not sing "Time Bomb," given security issues and all. (No respectable videos have yet surfaced on YouTube of her Jubilee efforts, sadly. Anyhow, she's merely Australian. Suffice to give it a mention.)

Then, there was Grace in your face! Desperate to entertain you, Ms Jones sang an entire number while werqing a hula-hoop around her hips all the time (almost as well as you werq a tiara)! ("Slave to the Rhythm," I suspect, is actually an absolute fave of yours; don't tell me you haven't done the hoochie-coohie for Philip while lip-synching to that in your private bed chamber! It's probably what sent him to the hospital! Or maybe you were just pondering "what the fuck's with her?" as you laid eyes on the performance.)

Your demeanor seemed to say, "we are not entertained." (Neither was I, frankly; not sure why.) They may call you "your highness," but I doubt you've been as high as Grace. But, then, who knows, honey? They always say it's the quiet ones.

Below, YouTube captures Shirley and Gracie in all their Diamond Jubilee glory.

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