Monday, September 8, 2014

Joan Rivers' Final Red Carpet

I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene  --  Joan Rivers, I Hate Everyone... Starting with Me, 2012.

Well, she got the red carpet Hollywood treatment today even if there was literally no red carpet, it being a funeral and all. One of the all-time Queens of Comedy was sent out in absolute style. I'm envious! How could I not be? The bitch had Howard Stern giving the eulogy! Audra McDonald came to sing "Smile"! Hugh Jackman sang the Peter Allen song, "Quiet Please, There's a Lady on the Stage." Not many funeral services are this star-studded and leave you qvelling and wanting more! In general, I cannot wait to get out and over to the reception (food, socializing, dancing and open bar).

The glamor and radiance of this funeral would make Joan proud. Barbara Walters, Whoopi and Rosie O'Donnell were there. Bernadette Peters, Tommy Tune. Alan Cumming. Diane Sawyer was there, Paul Schaffer, Donald Trump, Clive Davis! And many more luminaries of show business too numerous to mention. Today Margaret Cho wrote that Joan put the fun back in funerals.

Fans swarmed to say their goodbyes. The NYPD provided bagpipers. The NY Gay Men's Chorus sang. We were sending off royalty after all. Self-made royalty, the best.

If you have to die, sweeties, this is the way to have a funeral service. Service? Joan was putting together her last show for all the world. She asked that, instead of flowers, donations be sent to Gods Love We Deliver and other charities.

Farewell, Joanie. There's no one like you. You will be missed indeed.

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