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Saturday, April 9, 2016

Buddy Beaverhausen's Random Thoughts on Elizabeth Bathory, Real Life Vampire

Ah, to be Hungarian, a serial killer, free, white and 21, and a vampire! Now this is a diva! Ivana Trump would bathe in the blood of vigin women to stay young if she could get away with it, I'm certain. Bathory's likely her patron saint.

Of course, Bathory loved a good blood bath (which she brought fresh meaning to)!  She has been the subject of films and stage.

Her notoriety continues until this day.

Bathory lived until she was only 54, a few days after her 54th birthday ironically, so where did her "eternal youth" delusion get her? And, unsurprisingly, she died in prison for her crimes. Of course, as this was the 14th century, that wasn't so bloody young at all!

Virginity doesn't pay off after all! And how could she tell who was a virgin? That's what I'd like to know. What if they're only like a virgin... but touched for the very first time? Also, after one bathes in blood, doesn't one have to bathe all over again in water to wash it off, or do you just put a nightgown on over a blood-soaked body? That's one of the problems with this particular funny business.

So raise a glass of red wine tonight for Lizzie B who was fabulous in her own sick way! How far would you go to stay forever young-looking?

Currently, there's something called the Vampire Youth Treatment. But it's not Bathory-like. Thank God!

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